Gadget games: Resist the allure of shiny, useless kitchen tools

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New-fangled kitchen gadgets can be tempting, but often end up gathering dust. (Jean Lachat~Sun-Times)

Updated: April 24, 2011 12:17AM

There’s that Silpat muffin maker, the flexible egg-poaching cradles, the banana slicer, chicken scissors, asparagus trimmers . . . the list goes on.

For diehard home cooks, having the latest and greatest gadgets is a bit like fashion: out with the old, in with the new.

We have delusions of grandeur about how delicious and beautiful our dishes will come out if only we had the right equipment.

Even chefs get appliance-happy.

“We really wanted the waffle iron,” says Dirk Flanigan of the Gage and Henri restaurants. “It’s up there on the shelf somewhere.”

Which brings us to this question: Do we really use all of those time-saving, kitchen magic-enabling doodads? Or are they just taking up precious space, collecting dust ?

The last time Flanigan used that waffle iron, by the way? Five years ago, he says.

So how can you determine if you will put that irresistible item to actual use? Here’s what to think about before you buy.

Sum of its parts

Sometimes, simple is best. While the TV commercial for that slicer and dicer seems alluring, how many parts need cleaning after you use the contraption?

If it takes more time to clean than the item you currently use for the same task, you might want to re-consider.

And does it require engineering-like skills to re-assemble? If so, think again before buying.

“I hate this giant juicer — it’s big, cumbersome and has lots of components,” says Kim Shambrook, chef and owner of Bespoke Cuisine, a Chicago catering company. “The real capper is cleaning the soggy pulp once you are finished. Then, all the work it takes to put the thing together, and you only have about a half a cup of juice.”

Some home cooks feel similarly about the food processor. Once a kitchen staple (remember when Cuisinart was THE food processor, rather than a diverse kitchen appliance company?), the bulky appliance now feels redundant, says Chicagoan Marty Tiersky, a wine importer and expert hobby chef.

“It takes up too much shelf space, the blade attachments are worthless and I don’t like how it pulverizes the food,” he says.

For smoothing out a sauce, dip or soup, Tiersky uses his blender. For slicing or chopping, a knife does the trick.

“Between my Kitchen Aid and my Vitamix and a good old chef’s knife, I’m covered.” he says.

All limbs intact

It’s a given that the kitchen is full of sharp objects. After all, basic cutting and chopping is the core of great cooking. But do you really need another sharp edge sitting around, especially one with questionable safety?

If there’s a “safety” cover on the sharp angle of a device, it may be an accident waiting to happen. A moving part, even if it’s intended as protection, is often the first to come loose.

Silvia Nijhoff had high hopes for her Zyliss multi-blade rolling chopper.

“It’s odd-shaped and stuff gets stuck in the housing, which does not open for cleaning,” says Nijhoff, an airline dispatch instructor.

When dislodging a wedge of zucchini almost cost her a finger, she demoted the chopper to rusty-and-dusty status.

Likewise, the mandoline. A few of my home cook friends swear by it. At first, Evanston mom Jodi Glenn Fox did, too, but later she decided she’d “rather just be patient with a knife than clean this thing.”

Amanda Marijanovic’s biggest gripes about the mandoline: It makes a mess and doesn’t cut uniformly or even all the way through at times.

“I was so excited for this, and it was a flop,” says the North Center resident.

Size really does matter

Bigger isn’t always better if you don’t use it.

Even for those who’ve built their dream kitchens with new cabinetry, the bulkiest items tend to get shelved elsewhere simply because kitchen pantries and extra-tall cabinets often still can’t accommodate them.

And once a gigantic or awkwardly sized gadget — the electric yogurt maker or multi-platform dehydrator, for example — goes out of sight, it typically goes out of mind.

“If you want to waste your entire counter or cabinet, you can keep one of those dehydrators around,” says frustrated cook Ashley Crew of Rogers Park.

The residential version of the deep fryer also belongs on this list, as much for the oily mess it makes as for its size.

The flip side: teeny-tiny overload

While big and bulky items may be hard to store, very small tools like the asparagus trimmer, tomato sharks, odd-shaped biscuit cutters and tea baler just vanish into that deep drawer of random utensils. Maybe you didn’t need them after all.

Jason Hoffman, a strategy consultant from Hoffman Estates and serious home cook, calls the strawberry huller “among the dumbest items ever.”

“Ever hear of the paring knife?” he says.

Jennifer Smith, another Chicago food geek, includes the garlic press in this category, too.

“It chewed my garlic and wasted two-thirds of each bulb,” she gripes.

The power of the must-have kitchen gadget has never been stronger — just turn on the Food Network. If Paula, Bobby or Emeril have one, it’s certain to end up on your wish list as well.

But as Chicago chef and longtime restaurant consultant Scott Reading puts it, “With a little skill, you can do almost anything with your hands, a decent chef’s knife and a little ingenuity.”

Laura Levy Shatkin is a Chicago free-lance writer.