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When in Rome, get over a cheating boyfriend

Updated: March 18, 2014 4:15PM



Today’s tale beings at exactly 12:30 a.m., Feb. 1, 2014. That’s when Avery called her boyfriend of four years and found him in bed with another woman.

“This was a great shock to me and threw me into the worst depression of my life. I immediately paged a friend, and we talked for an hour. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t convince me that there was much purpose in life after this crime-of-passion betrayal.”

Avery pulled herself together and did what any sane woman with a cousin living in Rome would do. She called Alitalia. “It was Italy or a mental hospital. I figured Italy was a cheaper and a quicker fix.” By 2:30 a.m. she had a plane ticket that left for Roma at 4 p.m. that day. By 9 a.m. she had taken a leave from her job, packed her bags, arranged for her cat to be cared for and called her cousin.

“The truly amazing thing? She had just broken up with her boyfriend, too. Apparently he, also, had issues with fidelity.”

Avery’s cousin greeted her in Rome. Avery says Gina is “a beautiful and strong woman who refuses to accept any crap from men.”

As the two women spoke, one thing became clear: The guys in Italy are no different than the guys in the States. “They even use the same lines and tell the same lies. One morning, Gina ran into my room to tell me her ex-boyfriend had just called and said, ‘You don’t understand me,’ ‘It’s not how you think.’ ‘I love you.’ She taught me some new Italian swear words.”

Avery and Gina had a lot in common. Not only had they both heard the same lines many times, they also had the same remedy for heartbreak: shopping and ice cream.

“While neither of us had much money, somehow we went shopping almost every night and I hit the gelateria every day. We also like the same type of men physically and apparently behaviorally.”

Gina’s ex-boyfriend, her great love of six months, was tall, dark and handsome, and had a good job, which, in Italy as well as in the United States, is a huge plus. Avery’s great love, Aidan, also was tall, dark and handsome and gainfully employed. She couldn’t get him out of her mind.

“Every commercial and ad with a tall, dark guy reminded me of him. Then one day, I was sitting alone in a small restaurant on the Via Condotti having lunch. All of a sudden, I heard an American hip-hop song that Aidan used to play for me. What are the chances? While I’m in Rome, sitting in the shadows of the Spanish Steps and the Trevi Fountain? Must I really hear such a thing? Apparently so.”

Well, Avery is back from Rome. She said the trip worked. “I was too far away to call him every day and do the drive-bys. I was able to stop crying. I went to confession with a monk who told me I was a cleansed woman. I now know there’s a world outside the little cocoon I’d been in. But was it a total success?

“No. I still think about him way too much.”

Not everyone can fly to Rome when their heart is broken. How do you get over a broken heart? Send your response, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.

Creators Syndicate



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