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Cemeteries’ peaceful repose shattered

Updated: February 14, 2013 8:01PM

Dear Abby: Please use your wide reach to educate well-meaning parents about how their children should behave when visiting cemeteries. I’m a funeral professional who takes pride in helping families honor their heritage.

Often parents allow their children to roam the cemetery as if it were a playground or public park. I have seen kids pull up expensive flowers on other graves and “take them to Mommy.” Naturally, the family who bought the flowers comes back a few days later and accuses us of trashing them.

I have seen mourners leave precious personal mementos on their loved ones’ graves, only for kids to take them as playthings. I have seen kids deface grave markers, entertain themselves by bouncing rocks off headstones or open up brass and bronze cameos, exposing the photos to the elements.

The worst is unsupervised kids running off in packs and gathering up the colored flags that are placed to assure a grave gets dug and set up for a pending service.

And please, keep your dogs at home. You wouldn’t want a stranger’s dog doing his business on your expensive marker or loved one’s grave, would you?

The Last Person
to Let You Down in California

Dear Last Person to Let You Down: Folks, if your children are too young to understand when you tell them the cemetery isn’t a playground — that they must remain quiet, respectful and not touch other people’s property — then they should not be present at the burial. When entering or leaving the cemetery, children and adults should refrain from walking on the graves. Ditto for using it as a dog park.

Don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want them to do onto you.

Dear Abby: When I married, I moved away to another state and made some great new friends where I live now. My family visits every few months, and I recently started including some of my friends in my family gatherings and bringing some of them home with me when my husband and I go to visit.

I recently found out that my family has been inviting my friends for weekend getaways and camping trips. They even invited my friends to spend the last long holiday weekend with them — without inviting me!

I was hurt and offended. I have nothing against my family and friends getting along, but I always thought I’d be included. Am I overreacting?

Excluded in Rochester, N.Y.

Dear Excluded: Perhaps. Not knowing your friends or family members, I can only guess that when you introduced them they may have found some interest in common that you don’t necessarily share. But don’t waste time on hurt feelings or pouting because you don’t own your friends, and what your relatives choose to do with their time is out of your control.

Write to Dear Abby at

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