Bride wants to keep friend’s lecherous husband off guest list

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Updated: March 4, 2012 8:18AM

Dear Abby: Over the years I’ve stayed in touch with my childhood best friend, “Claire.” We talk a few times a year, and I attended her wedding 10 years ago.

In the intervening years, her husband, “Kirk,” has cheated on her multiple times and was once arrested by an undercover cop when he tried to meet a 14-year-old for a sexual liaison. Despite it all, Claire has chosen to stay with him.

I am being married next year, and Claire has expressed excitement at attending my wedding. I’d like to invite her, but not Kirk.

I think he would be too much of a distraction for me. God forbid, if he did something inappropriate, it would end my friendship with Claire.

Am I worrying too much? Your opinion would be helpful.

Apprehensive bride-to-be

Dear Apprehensive: You need to be up front and sort this out with Claire before issuing an invitation. It is possible that her husband is legally enjoined from having contact with minors and could not attend your wedding even if invited. If you prefer that he not attend, you need to have the courage to say so. It probably won’t be the first time she has heard it. But safety of the young people, not to mention your peace of mind, must come first.

Dear Abby: A few months ago I joined a small church. It had a sign-up sheet for people to bring food to an event. The information requested included my name and email address. The person in charge of the church email added me to the announcements list and sent every email as a cc instead of a blind copy. Now people I never gave my email address to are replying “all,” sending messages to everyone and emailing me directly. It bothers me that they do this. I’m not sure how to approach them about this problem. I guess the rest don’t have issues with it, but I do.

E-Peeved in Oklahoma

Dear E-Peeved: You have two choices: Go through the hassle of changing your email address and notifying your friends and family — or simply hit “delete” when one of those emails pops up. I vote for the latter. As you stated, it’s a small church.

Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with “Danny” for two years. He’s smart, charming and funny. However, after we argue I’m always the one to start talking to try to come to a solution or a compromise. Danny never takes the initiative. I think he has a problem communicating with me about his feelings. What should I do?

Talker in Portland, Maine

Dear Talker: If after two years your boyfriend is unwilling or unable to resolve disagreements in an adult fashion, you should suggest couples counseling. It could avert serious problems in the future if you decide to invest more time in this relationship.

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