‘The Revolution’ unfortunately will be televised

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Updated: February 18, 2012 8:12AM

Don’t let the name fool you: There’s nothing revolutionary about “The Revolution.”

ABC’s new daytime talker, filling the time slot of the canceled “One Live to Live,” promises its team of lifestyle experts will help both viewers and its televised “heroes” of the week transform their bodies, minds, style, health and environment.

What it actually delivers — besides one long Macy’s commercial — is a bunch of platitudes, lame tips (“embrace color”), television’s millionth makeover and advice from the no-duh handbook.

On Monday’s debut, style guru Tim Gunn (“Project Runway”) gave one woman a “Timtervention” by swapping her mom jeans for a miniskirt. He then shared one of the fashion world’s biggest secrets: High heels make legs look longer. Thanks, Officer Obvious. Maybe on Tuesday we’ll learn that hats are worn on the head.

The show also focuses on one or two women — sorry, “heroes” — as their lives are changed during a five-month transformation that gets condensed to five days. Each week, the players will change. But you can bet the plot will stay the same, starting with tears and ending in a smaller dress size.