Bob Chicoine

THIS MUCH I KNOW | 56 | BROOKFIELD ACCOUNTANT, BEER VENDOR | SOX FAN

I am a Sox fan.

I used to take pleasure in Cubs losses. I remember in '84 watching the ball go through Leon Durham's legs. . . . Ahh.

That's changed because I'm older and don't have the fire in the belly. There are better things to hate than the Cubs. Incivility, injustice and SUVs easily take the place of wanting the Cubs to lose.

I've reached the age where I have to subtract to figure out how old I am.

When people ask what I do for a living, I ask them, What's the most boring job you can think of? 90 percent of them say accountant.

Accounting has its pleasures, but it's the opposite of beer vending. Beer vending is the perfect compliment to accounting and vice versa.

I've lived on the South Side and the North Side at various times. Now I live in Brookfield.

The North Side and South Side are like two different cities. The cultural divide is so huge that the South Side promotes being anti-cultural. There are guys who tawk like dis who don't even normally tawk like dis.

Beer vending used to be a classic Chicago job where they don't want nobody nobody sent. I was sent by nobody so my application got filed away until they needed more guys and there weren't any more people somebody sent.

My first game was June, 4, 1977, Sox vs. Yankees. It was a great game. Richie Zisk hit two homers.

At Cubs games there are more sales per minute, but sales end in the middle of the 6th inning. At Sox games we sell until the middle of the seventh, that brings revenue close to what it is at the Cubs.

The fact is Cubs fans are a little better tippers.

The level of profanity accepted has gone up in recent years. You see guys in suits who swear a lot when kids are nearby. This happens less at Sox Park then at the Cubs, oddly.

After a while you get tired of just yelling, "Beer."

So, I thank fans for putting up with my bad impressions. Harry Caray, Monty Python. Sometimes I speak in French.

Beer vendors learn to read the game by people's eyes. At the crack of the bat I can tell if it's a fly ball to the warning track.

Cubs fans are out there to have a good time. They pay less attention to the game.

The Sox have to win for Sox fans to have a good time. Sox fans by and large have a greater grasp of the game. They generally know what's going on. Comment at suntimes.com.