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Whether you're an urbanite or a suburbanite, a diehard "club kid" or a nightlife newbie, Chicago has late-night lairs to suit almost every taste.

Dim lighting is a given. So are earsplitting tunes with bone-rattling bass.

Some joints, though, are far more upscale and selective than others. And many thrive on "table service" -- by which patrons are given priority seating and permitted to purchase ridiculously overpriced booze that generally starts in the $200-a-bottle range and can run into the thousands.

"They just want pretty people in their bar, basically," says a former club insider who prefers to remain anonymous. "And if you're not pretty, you'd better have a lot of money to spend."

Inside and out. In addition to forking over a cover charge, tipping door dudes (or dudettes) sometimes can pay off for those who aren't regulars or celebrities.

"I would say nothing less than a 20," the former insider says. "Some people give 20s and they're OK. Some people 100. I had someone give me 500 one time to get in. . . . It was just two people. They wanted to come in, they wanted to get a table and they didn't want to wait."

Absent either of those things, being hooked up can't hurt.

"There's a lot of clubs out there that claim they let in anybody and everybody, but most of the time it's all about who you know," says longtime DJ Christian Jacob, who goes by the handle DJ Kid Kris. "So if you know someone on the staff --the DJ or whatever -- they'll get you on the list."

Or you could wait in line and take your chances.

Just keep in mind that the ease or difficulty of gaining entry varies from person to person and night to night. Gorgeous women in high heels and short dresses, for instance, are far more apt to be whisked inside than schlubby blokes. Or just blokes, period. Although there are exceptions.

"Girls make more effort to dress [well]," says Benjamin Newby, operating partner of The Underground on West Illinois. "That's why they get into nightclubs. On the other hand, if I see a well-dressed guy, I'm actually more likely to get him in than a well-dressed girl because the well-dressed guys are in short supply."

CLICK HERE TO SEE CHICAGO'S 5 HOTTEST NIGHTCLUBS