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Rating MLB’s ‘dirtiest’ ballparks

This urinal trough belongs team with 'dirtiest' park MLB as voted by  Click through gallery check out their

This urinal trough belongs to the team with the 'dirtiest' park in MLB as voted by Click through the gallery to check out their ratings and comments from cleanest to dirtiest.

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Updated: November 3, 2012 6:19AM

Finally, the Cubs can say they’re No. 1.

Our lovable losers have gained the distinction of having MLB’s least clean park, as voted by, an upstart website that stands for “urine feces everywhere.”

The ratings are the brainchild of Bourbonnais dentist John Vallone, who — along with his wife and six others — rated every major-league park based on 79 health-related criteria. Much of their focus was on rest-room hygiene.

“Think about it,” Vallone said. “A guy goes into a bathroom and leaves without washing his hands, then stops to get his wife a hot dog. He pushes on the ketchup dispenser. He clicks on the mustard. Then you and hundreds of other people use the same dispensers. That’s disgusting!”

The “ufe” team of inspectors collected their findings over four months before compiling their ratings. Vallone admitted it was a bit awkward, even “creepy” standing in rest rooms and watching people’s habits. He and his wife inspected 26 of the 30 parks, but in fairness to the integrity of the data, the lifelong White Sox fans did not rate Wrigley Field or U.S. Cellular Field.

As a dentist, Vallone lectures regularly at conferences about oral hygiene. It was after a trip to the Wrigley Field troughs and seeing how few men washed their hands that he decided to apply his bacterial knowledge to this cause.

“We tried to come up with some universal truths when we did this,” Vallone said. “Here’s one: If a man walks into a bathroom with a beer, he’s not washing his hands.”

In fact, found that 79 percent of the men at Wrigley did not wash their hands after going to the bathroom; 8 percent of women failed to scrub.

The “ufe” grading system awarded parks that had touch-free dispensers, automatic rest-room doors or, even better, no doors.

Vallone will soon send his findings to each major-league team, hoping to raise awareness about these health concerns.

And, don’t think Vallone is just picking on baseball. He has his sights set on airports (“The security bins you put your shoes and other belongings in, never get washed.”), supermarkets (“Why do babies in diapers sit in the same place you put your food?”) and NFL Stadiums. CLICK HERE for UFE's MLB rankings of dirtiest parks.

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